Here's to Us

We could just go home right now 
Or maybe we could stick around 
For just one more drink. 
Oh yeah. 

Get another bottle out 
Let's shoot the shit, Sit back down 
For just one more drink. 
Oh yeah. 

Here's to us. 
Here's to love. 
All the times that we've fucked up. 
Here's to you. 
Fill the glass. 
Cuz the last few days have kicked my ass. 
Oh Let's give 'em hell. 
Wish everybody well. 
Here's to us. 
Here's to us. 

We stuck it out this far together 
Put our dreams through the shredder. 
Let's toast, cuz things got better. 

And everything could change like that. 
And all these years go by so fast, but 
Nothing lasts, forever. 

Here's to us. 
Here's to love. 
All the times that we've messed up. 
Here's to you. 
Fill the glass. 
Cuz the last few nights have kicked my ass! 
If they give you hell, 
Tell them Go fuck themselves. 
Here's to us. 
Here's to us. 

Here's to all that we kissed, 
And to all that we missed, 
To the biggest mistakes that we just just wouldn't trade. 

To us breakin' up, 
Without us breakin down. 
To whatever's comin' our way! 

Here's to us. 
Here's to love. 
All the times that we've fucked up. 
Here's to you. 
Fill the glass. 
Cuz the last few days have kicked my ass. 
Oh Let's give 'em hell. 
Wish everybody well. 

Here's to us. 
Here's to love. 
All the times that we messed up. 
Here's to you. 
Fill the glass. 
Cuz the last few nights have kicked my ass! 
If they give you hell, 
Tell them 
Go fuck themselves. 
(Go fuck themselves.) 
Here's to us. 
(Here's to us.) 

Here's to us 
(Here's to us.) 

Here's to us. 
Here's to love. 
Here's to us. 
(Wish everybody well.) 

Here's to us. 
Here's to love. 
Here's to us. 

Here's to us

*Lyrics from http://www.lyricsfreak.com/h/halestorm/heres+to+us_21001004.html

Who I Am

Adieu, 2012.

In few minutes from now, we will be bidding 2012 a good bye, and say hello to the 2013. Everyone is wishing for all the negativities to be left behind, and hope for the best to be received come 2013. 2012 has been one crazy roller coaster ride for me, just like all the past years. But what made this year different was, despite all the bad stuff, there were more good things that surfaced.

I may have lost few friends along my life's journey, but I definitely gained new ones, and old friendships have grown stronger. No life status nor educational background, all the more age, can dictate a friendship. Friends I have made this year have come from all walks of life, and it does not matter to me. There are the friends who are there to listen, ready to give you a hug, ears to listen to whatever you say, a shoulder to cry on, gives me an imaginary slap to return to reality, and urges me to take risk and not to give up. You know who you are, thank you for being there. Near, far, it doesn't matter, you surely are a real friend.

I did not expect to fall for someone this year. After falling in love and being disappointed, I just couldn't bring myself to fall all over again. But slowly, and unexpectedly, I did, funnily, to someone who was initially a complete stranger to me. Love isn't my priority really, but it comes, and I grab it.

Academics, they burned me out. I got to the point where I wanted to just let go-- again. My heart wasn't there anymore although I am happy on where I am right now. And with school, I found my love for volunteering at the hospital, prompting me to gain more knowledge when it comes to the small animal medicine world. I may not be as good with theoretical as I used to be years ago, but I sure learn a lot from hands on experiences on the months I've been volunteering.

Life itself is crazy. So much fights, frustrations, anger, hatred, disappointments, laughter, memories, experiences, risk; name it, it's there. As Forrest Gump said, "Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." And with my friends around, they keep me sane, snapping me back to reality. Just another positive side of my life, I started healthy living again. :)

On new year's eve, we await for the entrance of the new 365 days that we will face with hope, courage, fear, or whatever else. I was rewatching New Year's Eve a while back on TV, and Hilary Swank said, "And as you all can see, the ball has stopped half way to its perch. it's suspended there to remind us before we pop the champagne and celebrate the new year, to stop, and reflect on the year that has gone by, to remember both our triumphs and our missteps, our promises made and broken, the times we opened ourselves up to great adventures... or closed ourselves down for fear of getting hurt, because that's what new year's all about , getting another chance, a chance to forgive. to do better, to do more, to give more, to love more, and to stop worrying about what if... and start embracing what will be. so when that ball drops at midnight, and it will drop, let's remember to be nice to each other, kind to each other, and not just tonight but all year long."

I am wishing for a wonderful 2013. No more big new year's resolutions for me-- just like for the past couple of years, just the simple, practical ones:

1. Continue living healthy
2. Concentrate with studies
3. Go with the flow
4. Take risk

Happy new year, everyone! Have an awesome 2013! 

Respect.

“Respect yourself and others will respect you.”

― Confucius, Sayings of Confucius

Respect. Paggalang. 尊敬.

How hard is it to respect another person? Like the quote above, you have to learn to respect yourself first before you could respect others, because if you don't respect yourself, how can you expect them to respect you back? Respecting yourself is when you know until where is your self-limitation, how you dress, how you bring yourself to public. 

When we were younger, our parents and teachers taught us to respect the elders. Yet as we grow older, wiser, and more mature, we learned that we don't only respect those who are older that than us, but we should also respect those who are younger.

When we respect other people, we don't choose whom to respect; everybody deserves to be respected, whether he is a very rich person or someone who has nothing. Even if he's the jeepney driver, or a bystander, or a security guard, or even the drunkard. May he be a PhD degree holder or someone who is not given the chance to study for a degree.

Respect is also given to someone who admits his weaknesses; it may seem that he is ashamed of what he lacks, but this could not mean that you will take pity on that person. Instead, it actually could lead you to have a bigger respect on that person for having the courage to admit of his weaknesses.

In my opinion, respect, like trust, is earned. And once broken, it may be difficult for you to gain the other person's respect on you. We must not abuse the respect being given to us by others.

Talking to myself

4 years ago, I was here contemplating on what to do with my life after a semester of medical school. I am now here again, 2 years and a semester in veterinary medicine. 1 year and a semester more and I will be done. But why am I now having doubts? I honestly don't want to give up especially now I'm nearing the end. But why am on the verge of surrendering?

4 years ago, I sat on the steps of the terrace saying that I have finally moved on and I am free. Now, I sat there again, thinking if this is it or this is just another dream and not a possibility at all; actually wondering what is really this between us.

Between 4 years ago and now, what was the difference? None. Both instances are giving me doubts on myself, insecurities building up, wondering a lot about the future. What does the future hold for me? Could those things that I want be in my future or they'd continue to be dreams only?

Dreams. I have a lot of it for my future. Love. Family. Career. Kids. Grand kids. License. Friends. But could those dreams of mine come true? I dream that he is the one, but is he really the one? I dream of having my own family, but will I have my own family? I have dreamed of a lot of careers that I want to be, but is any of it will be my career; better yet, will I be a successful veterinarian in the future? I dream of having kids of my own, but am I capable of bearing offspring? And the question continues to will there be my own grand kids?

Should I decide not to give up, I will be graduating in a year, and board exams come right after; will I graduate on time? Will I pass the board exams in one take? Will I be able to have enough knowledge for the exam? Friends come and go, who will be there for me until the end? Who will just leave me behind in a snap?

Here I go again, me and my babbling mind. My babbling mind that cannot be tamed, full of questions but no answers at all, full of doubts and worries but no assurances and comfort, full of love to give but gets nothing in return, full of dreams but gets nothing in reality.

-bridgetco Pontevedra, November 2, 2012, 21:23

Berso sa Metro: Pedro Calderon de la Barca

¿Qué es la vida? Un frenesí.
¿Qué es la vida? Una ilusión,
una sombra, una ficción,
y el mayor bien es pequeño;
que toda la vida es sueño,
y los sueños, sueños son.

Ano nga ba ang buhay? isang kahibangan;
Ano nga ba ang buhay? isang ilusyon,
isang anino, isang kasinungalingan.
At ang malalaking biyaya'y maliliit pa rin,
dahil ang buhay ay isa lamang pangarap
at ang mga pangarap ay pangarap lamang.

La vida es sueño
Pedro Calderón de la Barca (Madrid, 1600-1681)

Middle Child Syndrome

Last Saturday, my friends and I were talking about being a middle child, and experiencing the "Middle Child Syndrome". One of my friends said that I should overcome this just as she had. 

Just what is this Middle Child Syndrome?

I am posting an article I found from the site Healthguidance.org, regarding the Middle Child Syndrome.

Whether you have a middle child, are a middle child, or know a middle child, everyone seems to understand that when it comes to placement in a family that’s the worst place to be. People have so many reasons for believing this; some think that the middle child simply gets forgotten for no reason, others believe that the eldest is the leader and the youngest is the baby, but the middle child has no real place. Other still believe that parents love the eldest child because he was the first, and the youngest because he is the last, but that the middle child has no real special place.

How much of this is true? Possibly none of it and possibly all of it; it could just be an idea that has continued to spread over time, and whenever a middle child happens to feel left out, they determine that it must be because of their birth placement. It could also be very real which would mean that something needs to be done to solve the problem. The question of whether this middle child syndrome is real or not is very debatable, but here are some of the facts that have been found so far.

What Are the Characteristics?

It’s important to keep in mind that just like with any other syndrome, these characteristics are general; just because your child shows different symptoms or doesn’t show any of these does not mean that they are not suffering in some way. Some of the most common characteristics include low self-esteem, jealousy, feelings of emptiness or inadequacy, unfriendliness, and a tendency to be introverted.

Middle children tend to feel that they are unseen, so they may suffer from low self-esteem. Even if they are capable of doing something, they may constantly ask for your help in order to get your attention. That old saying, "The squeaky wheel gets the grease," tends to be something that middle children live by. They tend to beat themselves up over the tiniest of failures and do not set goals for themselves.

For some reason, if you look at most families one parent tends to bond with the oldest child while the other tends to form a bond with the youngest. The middle child takes notice of this and feels unloved. This leads to their feelings of inadequacy and that empty feeling that many of us often experience. Jealousy also comes into play here because they resent everything that the other children do. In extreme cases, middle children even act out with what some would call "psychotic" behavior. All of that jealousy and resentment just piles up inside of them until they just lash out in anger or violence.

Middle children are often described as a little, "off," as they just don’t seem to know how to fit in. The self-esteem issues that they have lead them to be very introverted and somewhat unfriendly. They are not necessarily incapable of making friends, they are just too shy and insecure to try and do so.

As you can see, it’s very difficult to catch middle child syndrome right away because there are two completely opposite and extreme personalities that your child could take on. The angry and aggressive child is definitely more extroverted and voices his anger very clearly. On the other hand, there is the introverted child who is quiet, lonely, and a little weird.

What Are Some Possible Causes?

So far, the causes of the middle child personality have been narrowed down to two main ones; an identity crisis and a lack of support.

Identity crisis is self-explanatory and after reading the characteristics, it’s easy to see that this is clearly a big issue. The middle child has no idea where he fits in, what is expected, or how to gain approval. They feel unimportant, unseen, and unheard; this leaves them wondering where they belong in the grand scheme of things. As previously stated, the oldest and youngest children tend to be the "favorites," meaning that they form a closer bond with one parent or the other. While parents may not realize it, the middle child is very aware of this favoritism and is left feeling like they never get any attention.

Parents do not mean to be unsupportive towards the middle child, but it appears that it happens anyways. The middle child silently suffers and parents are unaware of it, which only leads to more and more issues. If anything, the middle child needs a little extra attention to ensure that they know that they are loved, appreciated, and heard.

Are There Any Solutions?

In all reality, the solution for middle child syndrome will vary greatly from family to family. In some cases, taking the time to talk with your child and allowing them to express their feelings may be enough. You can find out what it is that they need and then be sure to give it to them. In other cases, there may already be serious damage done, and the child and family may require counseling or other professional help.

One thing to be sure of though, is to not baby the middle child. Putting more emphasis on this syndrome than necessary will only take the issue to a whole new level and cause your child to be even more dependent on you and your approval. The key is to treat all of your children exactly the same; there is no reason to dedicate more time and attention to one child than another (unless there are special needs involved, and then the entire situation changes dramatically), and there is no reason to exclude a child. Take your children’s feelings into careful consideration before speaking or acting; weigh the possibilities of one feeling left out, and do what you can to ensure that things are always as fair and equal as possible.

Whether middle child syndrome makes an appearance in your home will depend a great deal on your parenting and family atmosphere. While you cannot dictate the personality that your child will have, you can do your best to make sure that the middle child does not become invisible.

o0o0o

Being a middle child is not at all fun for me. I am always being compared to my elder sister when we were younger until teen years. They use my sister to "mold" me; she's always at the top of their class, very studious, doesn't easily get distracted when studying, and the like. They wanted me to be like that. They got disappointed when I was out of the Top 3 by the end of the school year thus I got no medal during the Graduation ceremonies. And every quarter, same thing happens-- they expect me to be on the top-- until they got tired of expecting, I think. Even the schools where my sister went to, they wanted me to study there. But I don't. I wanted so badly to get out of her shadow. Eventually, I did.

Like what was said in the article, the characteristics of something suffering or experiencing this middle child syndrome tends to be an introvert, prone to having low self-esteem, prone to jealousy, and feeling of emptiness. Yes, I am all of those. As the low self-esteem stays, I have a hard time building up a conversation. I am not much of a talker (unless I am super comfortable with the person; well, most of the time, that is), I am more of the listener. My feelings are tucked inside, and my outlet is writing.

Being a middle child means not having the privilege your other siblings have. They would just say that they would come home late, your parents would suddenly volunteer on fetching them. While you, when you're out late and ask them to fetch you, they would blabber all excuses, implicitly telling you to make your own way on going home. Your siblings will just make parinig that they like this gadget and stuff, the next thing you know, your parents brought them that gadget. While you, you tell your parents what you like, and they will answer you that that's expensive or something like that. 

You know you thrive for their attention when you do something good or achieved something, but they never look your way on those occasions. But when you unintentionally do something that would displease them, they would suddenly look your way and flood you with sermons, and whatever else. I know how disappointed they are when I said I will not continue studying Medicine, and I know how not very much supportive they are with my decision of taking up Veterinary Medicine. If I pass the board examination in few years, will they be proud of me or still tutting behind me?