Berso sa Metro: Pedro Calderon de la Barca

¿Qué es la vida? Un frenesí.
¿Qué es la vida? Una ilusión,
una sombra, una ficción,
y el mayor bien es pequeño;
que toda la vida es sueño,
y los sueños, sueños son.

Ano nga ba ang buhay? isang kahibangan;
Ano nga ba ang buhay? isang ilusyon,
isang anino, isang kasinungalingan.
At ang malalaking biyaya'y maliliit pa rin,
dahil ang buhay ay isa lamang pangarap
at ang mga pangarap ay pangarap lamang.

La vida es sueño
Pedro Calderón de la Barca (Madrid, 1600-1681)

Middle Child Syndrome

Last Saturday, my friends and I were talking about being a middle child, and experiencing the "Middle Child Syndrome". One of my friends said that I should overcome this just as she had. 

Just what is this Middle Child Syndrome?

I am posting an article I found from the site Healthguidance.org, regarding the Middle Child Syndrome.

Whether you have a middle child, are a middle child, or know a middle child, everyone seems to understand that when it comes to placement in a family that’s the worst place to be. People have so many reasons for believing this; some think that the middle child simply gets forgotten for no reason, others believe that the eldest is the leader and the youngest is the baby, but the middle child has no real place. Other still believe that parents love the eldest child because he was the first, and the youngest because he is the last, but that the middle child has no real special place.

How much of this is true? Possibly none of it and possibly all of it; it could just be an idea that has continued to spread over time, and whenever a middle child happens to feel left out, they determine that it must be because of their birth placement. It could also be very real which would mean that something needs to be done to solve the problem. The question of whether this middle child syndrome is real or not is very debatable, but here are some of the facts that have been found so far.

What Are the Characteristics?

It’s important to keep in mind that just like with any other syndrome, these characteristics are general; just because your child shows different symptoms or doesn’t show any of these does not mean that they are not suffering in some way. Some of the most common characteristics include low self-esteem, jealousy, feelings of emptiness or inadequacy, unfriendliness, and a tendency to be introverted.

Middle children tend to feel that they are unseen, so they may suffer from low self-esteem. Even if they are capable of doing something, they may constantly ask for your help in order to get your attention. That old saying, "The squeaky wheel gets the grease," tends to be something that middle children live by. They tend to beat themselves up over the tiniest of failures and do not set goals for themselves.

For some reason, if you look at most families one parent tends to bond with the oldest child while the other tends to form a bond with the youngest. The middle child takes notice of this and feels unloved. This leads to their feelings of inadequacy and that empty feeling that many of us often experience. Jealousy also comes into play here because they resent everything that the other children do. In extreme cases, middle children even act out with what some would call "psychotic" behavior. All of that jealousy and resentment just piles up inside of them until they just lash out in anger or violence.

Middle children are often described as a little, "off," as they just don’t seem to know how to fit in. The self-esteem issues that they have lead them to be very introverted and somewhat unfriendly. They are not necessarily incapable of making friends, they are just too shy and insecure to try and do so.

As you can see, it’s very difficult to catch middle child syndrome right away because there are two completely opposite and extreme personalities that your child could take on. The angry and aggressive child is definitely more extroverted and voices his anger very clearly. On the other hand, there is the introverted child who is quiet, lonely, and a little weird.

What Are Some Possible Causes?

So far, the causes of the middle child personality have been narrowed down to two main ones; an identity crisis and a lack of support.

Identity crisis is self-explanatory and after reading the characteristics, it’s easy to see that this is clearly a big issue. The middle child has no idea where he fits in, what is expected, or how to gain approval. They feel unimportant, unseen, and unheard; this leaves them wondering where they belong in the grand scheme of things. As previously stated, the oldest and youngest children tend to be the "favorites," meaning that they form a closer bond with one parent or the other. While parents may not realize it, the middle child is very aware of this favoritism and is left feeling like they never get any attention.

Parents do not mean to be unsupportive towards the middle child, but it appears that it happens anyways. The middle child silently suffers and parents are unaware of it, which only leads to more and more issues. If anything, the middle child needs a little extra attention to ensure that they know that they are loved, appreciated, and heard.

Are There Any Solutions?

In all reality, the solution for middle child syndrome will vary greatly from family to family. In some cases, taking the time to talk with your child and allowing them to express their feelings may be enough. You can find out what it is that they need and then be sure to give it to them. In other cases, there may already be serious damage done, and the child and family may require counseling or other professional help.

One thing to be sure of though, is to not baby the middle child. Putting more emphasis on this syndrome than necessary will only take the issue to a whole new level and cause your child to be even more dependent on you and your approval. The key is to treat all of your children exactly the same; there is no reason to dedicate more time and attention to one child than another (unless there are special needs involved, and then the entire situation changes dramatically), and there is no reason to exclude a child. Take your children’s feelings into careful consideration before speaking or acting; weigh the possibilities of one feeling left out, and do what you can to ensure that things are always as fair and equal as possible.

Whether middle child syndrome makes an appearance in your home will depend a great deal on your parenting and family atmosphere. While you cannot dictate the personality that your child will have, you can do your best to make sure that the middle child does not become invisible.

o0o0o

Being a middle child is not at all fun for me. I am always being compared to my elder sister when we were younger until teen years. They use my sister to "mold" me; she's always at the top of their class, very studious, doesn't easily get distracted when studying, and the like. They wanted me to be like that. They got disappointed when I was out of the Top 3 by the end of the school year thus I got no medal during the Graduation ceremonies. And every quarter, same thing happens-- they expect me to be on the top-- until they got tired of expecting, I think. Even the schools where my sister went to, they wanted me to study there. But I don't. I wanted so badly to get out of her shadow. Eventually, I did.

Like what was said in the article, the characteristics of something suffering or experiencing this middle child syndrome tends to be an introvert, prone to having low self-esteem, prone to jealousy, and feeling of emptiness. Yes, I am all of those. As the low self-esteem stays, I have a hard time building up a conversation. I am not much of a talker (unless I am super comfortable with the person; well, most of the time, that is), I am more of the listener. My feelings are tucked inside, and my outlet is writing.

Being a middle child means not having the privilege your other siblings have. They would just say that they would come home late, your parents would suddenly volunteer on fetching them. While you, when you're out late and ask them to fetch you, they would blabber all excuses, implicitly telling you to make your own way on going home. Your siblings will just make parinig that they like this gadget and stuff, the next thing you know, your parents brought them that gadget. While you, you tell your parents what you like, and they will answer you that that's expensive or something like that. 

You know you thrive for their attention when you do something good or achieved something, but they never look your way on those occasions. But when you unintentionally do something that would displease them, they would suddenly look your way and flood you with sermons, and whatever else. I know how disappointed they are when I said I will not continue studying Medicine, and I know how not very much supportive they are with my decision of taking up Veterinary Medicine. If I pass the board examination in few years, will they be proud of me or still tutting behind me?

Gising Na

Rocksteddy songs always capture my heart. If you've been reading my blog from the start, you'll be able to view some of their songs that I've posted.

 

Bukas sa pag gising mo'y 
Babangon ang umaga 
Dala ang pag-asa na matagal nang nawala
At bukas sa pag gising mo'y wala na ang problema
Nilimot na ng panahon at inanod na ng alon 

Refrain:
Handa nang tawirin
Handa nang harapin ang mundo

Chorus:
Kaya't gising na kaibigan
Buksan ang 'yong isipan
At subukang pakinggan
Ang tinig nang karamihan
Ang boses ng kabataan
Gising na kaibigan ko, gising na, ha!

Bukas sa pag gising mo'y 
Sisikat din ang araw 
Dala ang pag-ibig na matagal nang hinintay 
Kung sakali mang dumating 
Na lumipas ang panahon 
Iyo pa ring mararamdaman 
Andun pa rin ang apoy

Repeat refrain
Repeat chorus

Hindi na mangangamba 
Hindi na malulumbay 
Hindi na matatakot 
Ang puso na muling magmahal at umibig ng lubos 
Lumipad patungo sa iyong tabi

Repeat chorus 2x

Kaya't gising na kaibigan
Buksan ang 'yong isipan
At subukang pakinggan
Ang tinig nang karamihan
Ang boses ng puso mo
Gising na kaibigan ko, gising na...

 Credits: video from Youtube, lyrics from Lyricsmode.com

You Should Date Someone Who Cares About You

This is copied from this site. Enjoy reading!

You Should Date Someone Who Cares About You 

MAY. 3, 2012 By NICO LANG

 You should be with someone who values your time and calls when they say they are going to, who shows up on time to a date or texts you if they are going to be late. Spend your time with people who aren’t too important to look up from their phone and stop texting when you are speaking or who know not to answer unimportant calls when you are together. Someone who politely apologizes for taking that important call and knows who to pick up for. Someone who also knows that their parents and their grandparents are important in their life, too, and has a good enough relationship with their family to pick up when they call. Someone who still tells their mother or father “I love you,” even when they are in public, and who can’t wait to tell you, when the time is ready.

Date a person who is chivalrous, not as in “into patriarchy, paternalism and/or oppressing you” but as in someone who isn’t afraid to show they care about you. No matter your gender, be with someone who wants to open the door for you, just to smile as they watch you walk through it, and someone who lets you do the same for them. Someone who will pull out a chair for you or stand up when you leave the table, not because it’s expected of them socially but they want to show you how much your company means to them. Someone who wants to walk you home, not only to make sure you are safe but also because they want to spend more time with you and smile at you as your smile disappears behind the door. Someone who will wait up to hear you got home safe if they can’t walk you home and will ask you to walk them home, because they want to feel protected by you, too.

Seek out a mate who isn’t afraid to hold your hand or put their coat around you when you look cold, who knows that Public Displays of Affection aren’t as important as knowing you are cared for, even in small ways. Put your energy into a person who puts their energy and effort into you, someone who will buy you flowers if you like flowers or knows exactly what book you would want on your birthday. Someone who has listened to your opinions, your hopes and your desires enough to know the things you like and the things you don’t like, the correct ways to show you they care. Someone who knows to ask when you want to be held and caressed and when you want your space, when you want to have sex and what consent is. Someone who knows how important the word “no” is.

Date a person who tells you nice things about yourself and builds up your confidence but challenges you when you need to be challenged. You deserve to be with those who know when to argue and to call you on your bullsh-t, but also know when signals from you tell them to leave you alone and let it be. Someone who won’t let you go to bed angry and is willing to talk about what’s bothering you, if even what’s bothering you doesn’t quite make sense or seem that important to them. Someone who knows that personal relationships aren’t as simple as who is right and who is wrong, that your opinion and perspective are valid, even when the two of you totally disagree. Someone who knows you aren’t always right and they aren’t always right but are willing to affirm the person your belief system, because your opinions are a part of the person they adore.

Spend time with people who don’t make you choose between being friends and being lovers, who you feel like you can genuinely have fun and be comfortable with. You need to be able to be casual, hang out in your pajama pants and be like buddies sometimes, while also valuing the romantic side of your connection. Someone who (when you get that far) understands what balance is in a relationship, that sometimes you need to go out and do your own thing. Someone who trusts you to make your own choices and to come home and be with them at the end of the night without the need to interrogate you, or if you are in an open relationship, someone who always trusts that your connection is stronger. Someone who gets that being together and waking up together every day is a choice, one you have to continue to make and continue to commit to.

Date someone who wants what you want, who is open to the idea of the relationship you desire with another human being. You need to be with people who are open to what you have to give to them and are willing to match it. Someone who has communicated enough on the subject to know what you are looking for with someone, whether that be a fling, friends with benefits or a person to bring home to your parents or chosen family. Someone who isn’t afraid to give you what you want in life but also respects themselves enough to have standards and value what they need and deserve in this relationship (or even friendship!) Someone who isn’t afraid to let you know how they feel: about you, about life, about what’s important to them, about the future or about whatever is on their mind.

Life is short, so you shouldn’t waste it on someone who doesn’t understand you, refuses to try and get you, won’t put in the time for you, who is rude to you, your friends or to other people and doesn’t even call you. Don’t worry about if they read, if they don’t read, if they watch movies or if they’re into the wrong kind of music; worry about whether they care that you do. Details are important, but if the world ends this year, it’ll be more important to say you wasted the time you have left with someone who cares.

Life of a Clinician

I admit that at first when we were told that we were to have a 60-hour duty requirement at the vet hospital as part of our Clinical Orientation subject, how I dreaded my duty hours to arrive! Why? 1 thing: I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING. Seriously. I was like "Uh oh. How will I survive 60 hours of duty with a very very very little knowledge of what to do?! Bahala na."

And so my 60-hour duty started few weeks back. It was a pressuring "job" as you have to be alert with everything around you. Attend to the clients when they come in, watch what was being done on the patient in the treatment room, get the vital signs, restrain the animal, and so on. But later on, I realized that it's not as pressuring as it was before us clinicians get to do our required duty as they are only few people working in the hospital. With the clinicians there, their jobs have eased a bit as the veterinarians will go attend the patients immediately and not mind entertaining newly entered clients.

The life of a clinician isn't easy. As it is a stepping stone into becoming a veterinarian in the future, one must be knowledgeable of the symptoms of the disease so you can have at least an idea what the patient is going through. It is also a practice on how to deal with the clients as the patients themselves are not able to talk. These clients come in different walks of life, literally and figuratively speaking. As we converse with them, we could "conclude" what kind of person they are. There are the kind ones, really kind enough to understand that what you're doing is a difficult one/ doing a lot so you are spared from being rushed on whatever you're doing. Some other patients are the bitchy ones. Nangmamaliit ng mga clinicians and staff, but when faced with the veterinarian, it's as if he never said anything bad. Also, there are the impatient clients. Every after few minutes, the client asks if the vet will still be held longer from his previous engagement. And, it won't be avoided to have emotional clients, whom you can see that they really care and love their pets. These clients bring their pets to the hospital not only if the need arises, but also in a regular schedule for checkups.

It is fulfilling to work as a clinician in the hospital. It may not be as haggard as it will be when in the farm duties (I think), but at the end of the day, it seems like all your energy has been drained yet you can still smile after all the bruhaha of the day.

I will be finishing my 60-hour duty tomorrow already. Honestly, it saddens me that it has come to the end when I've already started learning to enjoy it. I know I still have a lot to learn, but I'm learning new things at least every duty that I've been to.

The good news is, I can still walk into the hospital and continue my job. But now, as a volunteer. :) I am so looking forward in doing this again. But in all honesty, I still don't know if I would want to have a small animal clinic when I have my license in few years. But the final decision making can wait after achieving that license. :)

Mabuhay ang Bagong Kasal!

My second cousin Marc and my friend Pau got married last Saturday, July 21, 2012. It was raining like there's no tomorrow, just like Ondoy few years back. So anyway, despite the bad weather, the wedding pushed through and they said their "I Dos" and had their first kiss.

 A week before the wedding, they announced that I like be giving a speech for the bride! Man, I freaked out-- really freaked out. But because I love my cousin and my friend so much, how could I turn them down? I decided to start doing the speech Monday last week, even though I have no slightest idea on what to write. Come Wednesday, with 3 exams to be taken that day, I still wrote nothing. And I promised that I will start writing after my exams that day. And because I enjoy (yeah right) really procrastinating, I still didn't start right away. It was only the night before the wedding when I really sat down and typed away. With suggestions from friends, I was able to produce a wedding speech that is really from the heart. I've asked permission from Pau if it's okay for me to post the speech on my blog, and she gave me a go signal.

~*~*~*~

Good afternoon everyone.

For those who don’t know me, I am Bea, Kuya Marc’s second cousin, but right now, I’m closer to Pau.

I first heard about Pau a year ago, when Kuya Marc was here for a vacation from work in the US Army. And while we were having dinner with some of our cousins, my sister, Tita Malou, and a friend of Tita, Kuya Marc whipped out his cellphone and was busy texting. After that, he leaned towards my sister and said something like “There’s this girl who wanted to join us for dinner. But when I told her Mom’s with us, she suddenly changed her mind.” Little did I know, I was so close on meeting my future cousin-in-law.

And after a few weeks, I learned from my Mom that Kuya Marc’s getting married. “To whom?” I asked my Mom. “Paula raw yung name.” Then it dawned on me that maybe that’s the girl who was supposed to join us at the dinner. And from the beginning, this Paula girl wanted my sister and me to be part of their wedding entourage. And yes, we’re both here. And to cut the long story short, we became Facebook friends first before meeting in person. Sounds familiar? Just like Kuya Marc and Pau’s love story, diba? But in their case, it started with a picture nga lang.

Kuya Marc, Pau, just like your theme na “Love is Brewing”, I believe it’s not really about both of you loving coffee or that’s where you both got to know each other. It is, despite your cultural differences because of where you grew up, God has prepared the both of you for each other. Regardless of who’s speaking in English or in Filipino, you both meet halfway to be able to understand each other because you love each other. I remember one of their stories that Pau told me, after one of their “dates”, after Pau said goodbye and goodnight to Kuya, she just went into the FX that was waiting. She then noticed the driver was gently laughing and he told Pau, “Ma’am, magggoodnight kiss sa inyo si Sir, hindi niyo man lang binigyan ng pagkakataon.” Or another one was they were talking and in one instance, Pau told Kuya Marc that she misses him already, and Kuya deduced it as “I love you” already.

Kuya Marc, take care of Pau. And remember, whether Pau is right or wrong, always say “Yes, Dear” ha. Continue to put the glow in Pau’s face. Thank you for taking time to meet us whenever you’re here in the country. Thank you for your stories that leave us laughing our heads off. You’ll always be our Jay R the singer look alike, and Claire’s Speedy Gonzales.

Pau, finally, dumating na ang araw na ito. And all the hard work paid off! Rest na after this day. You’re the sister that I don’t have. Thank you for listening to my rants thru text, for replying to my out-of-nowhere texts. I appreciate our bonding moments that made us walk for hours while looking for the perfect paper for the invitations or perfect cloth for the envelope, and left us dead-tired in the end. Kapag nagshopping ka pala, wag mo papabuhat lahat ng bags kay Kuya Marc a, baka masama ka sa category ng ayaw natin na mga tao! Remember the couple we saw in the mall? The guy was carrying all the shopping bags of his partner.

Congratulations on your married life. Have a very wonderful future together. Continue loving each other effortlessly. There may be ups and downs, but in the end, you both know that you still love each other. Cheers to both of you! I love you both!

Nail Art 2

After my post few months ago on Nail Art, I have done few more, with inspiration from Youtube videos that I find enjoyable to do, and suggestions from friends.

First off, I tried doing "Easy Rainbow Stripes", which I found on Youtube.

On my first try, I half-failed/half-succeeded on doing it. The base colors were dark so it didn't stand out... So, I decided to make another one.

Tadaaaa! Isn't it better now? :D

Next, I tried doing Rainbow Design, which I also found on Youtube.

My friend wanted me to do the ombre nail polish she saw on the net (click me!). So since the time she told me that, my nail was still short, so I waited and waited and waited until it grew so I can make this ombre. It was challenging. But the result was amazing! This is one of the nail arts that I did with both hands.

I tried doing the sponging technique, but not really doing an ombre polish as I used only 2 colors. I did this for the wedding of my cousin yesterday.