Friday, December 31, 2010

Off to the new year

In few hours, we will be ushering 2011 in and say goodbye to 2010.

2010 will be one of the most memorable years for me. In fact, this may be the one of the best years of my life. Lots of things happened, I went back to school, kept myself sane for a week of being alone on weekdays, and other stuff. I never really expected this year to turn out like this, fun. There may be twists and whatever but it still ended good.

Of course, since I went back to school, I met new people. I got to deal with different attitudes again, some tolerable, others are definitely not tolerable at all. There are people who, surprisingly actually, became close to me. Let us not forget about school works, a lot of challenges there, especially keeping up with the bright minds of my fellow classmates, majority of them are at least 4 years younger than me.


As I say goodbye to 2010 later, I want to give thanks to the people who made my 2010 awesome. I don't know if you'll be able to read this blog, but thank you for being part of my life this year. You made this year colorful for me and meaningful as well.  There may be ups and downs but that makes it more interesting, right? Oh, especially YOU. =)

Wishing all the best and luck for the 2011. It'll also be year of the rabbit. It's gonna be my year! Woot!

Saturday, December 25, 2010


Finally, my thesis (together with my thesismate, of course) as a Biology major finally made it as an international paper on Veterinarski Arhiv. If I'm not mistaken, Dr. Claveria has been making arrangements for this thesis of ours to be published since 2008 (right after we defended our thesis, I believe) and only pushed through this year, after a lot of checkings and revisions and whatever processes that is to be done. Our dearest thesis adviser informed me late November of this year that our paper will be out this December on their last issue for the year. So, I was just trying my luck few moments ago if the final issue of the journal is out. True enough, I clicked some links and, voila!, there goes our thesis, as the third paper on the final issue: 

Immunochromatographic assay of Babesia caballi and Babesia equi Laveran 1901 (Theileria equi Mehlhorn and Schein, 1998) (Phylum Apicomplexa) infection in Philippine horses correlated with parasite detection in blood smears
(Mary Jane Cruz-Flores, Michelle Bata, Bridget Co, Florencia G. Claveria, Rodolfo Verdida, Xuenan Xuan, and Ikuo Igarashi)

Wow, I still can't believe it up to now. I'm so proud of our paper. Hahaha!

Anyway, here's the link to our paper: CLICK ME! =D Hahaha. =)

Merry Christmas, everyone! =)

Monday, December 20, 2010

Full Moon


I have always told myself that it is "my moment" whenever it's full moon. "My moment" is the time where I will have my sumpong with Mommy and I will be veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery sentimental over stuff. My sumpong will last for at least a week, what's it about? Nothing in particular, just petty stuff such as not wiping off the water on the table or not transferring the newspaper from the dining table to the other table. Just stuff like that. On the other hand, my senti moment would be just about stuff that used to happen, or what could have happened, or the what ifs of life.

I used to go out of the house to the garden or the garage just to look up at the moon. I appreciate its brightness by just staring at it and I would always try to figure out if it's a face that I see. A pair of sad eyes and a frown. I think I always tried to figure out that one because of a story I heard years ago about a boy being punished by someone thus turning him into a moon, or something like that. I just couldn't quite remember.

But now, I no longer have my sumpong when full moon comes around, I have it any time of the month (hahaha). I still do get sentimental once in a while, but more of what will happen in the future, and nothing about the past. Looking at the full moon makes me smile now, I just don't know why.

So, every since I've heard this song, thanks to a wonderful friend of mine (weh, ngingiti yan! =p), it always makes me think and look forward to a full moon.

Friday, December 17, 2010


You may cancel one book, The Deep Blue Sea for Beginners, from my wish list as I found just this afternoon a hardbound copy that is VERY cheap. Yes, literally cheaper than the original one. And I'm so happy about it!

Another thing to be happy about is that, I'm already on my Christmas break from school. I can sleep longer again, tend my flowers and plants in the garden, cook for the family on Christmas (I still can't think of what to cook... Suggestions?), and watch DVDs that I haven't watched. And maybe the TV series that I forgot to watch during my hiatus from school days.

3 of my subjects have shown our exam results already, I passed one of those and I lacked 1 point each on the other 2 subjects. Though a little bit disappointing, I'm still happy with the results.

And this is one nonsense post. Forgive me.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Thank you

A friend once told me, while we were talking about kilig conversations I had with the person that I currently like, that I should be thankful to the-person-who-shall-remain-anonymous. I asked her why should I when he left me in the midst of everything. She simply replied that, because of him, I am who I am now, stronger and wiser, that I now know how to handle things with regards to "love". I told her that, as of that moment, I'm still not ready to thank him. Maybe sometime.

It was back in November 2005 when he left me. Took me a looooooooong time to move on, but I eventually did and did not look back after that. I've placed everything at the smallest corner of my mind so that I will never be able to see it in the future. Actually, I don't remember much stuff about what happened anymore. Hahaha. I've been happy ever since and living life the best that I could. Yeah, we have small talks once in a while, him asking me how's my VetMed life. I don't ask about his, although I get bits and pieces of stories about him once in a while from common friends, but those don't bother me anymore. Maybe I do have a grudge against him for whatever he did, it may remain with me for who knows how long, and I may be called "bitter" because of that.

I guess I am now ready to thank him. So, to the-person-who-shall-remain-anonymous, thank you. For leaving me. Because of what you did, I did become stronger. Because of what you did, I met other people, nagkacrush sa ibang lalaki. Haha. Thank you for leaving me dahil sa loob ng limang taon mula nang araw na iyon, nag-iba ang criteria ng hinahanap kong gusto kong makasama. Nagtago man ako sa limang taon na yun dahil na-trauma ako, sobra-sobrang panahon na yun sa pagtatago, sumobra rin ang takot ko na magmahal muli. But I'm ready to love again whole-heartedly and without the fear that I'll experience the same things. Thank you for leaving me, because I know that someone out there is the one for me, waiting for me. And I'm just waiting for him to present himself. I know that this person will truly love me and will take care of me. Hindi na tayo katulad ng dati, civil na lang, or kahit wala, I don't mind. Again, thank you. I am truly at peace with the past now.

Thursday, December 09, 2010


It sucks when you don't want to not go to school but you have to for some reason. And it also sucks that you have to stay in bed until you feel a little better, and you don't know what else to do but study. Oh well. That's my case right now. I am forced to stay here at home as I was not feeling well this morning. I missed Anatomy and Animal Nutrition. Worse is that it's already exams next week. Argh.

Well, I think the good thing for this is that I get to rest, sleep a little longer (hihi) and I got to muni-muni again. Over the weekend, I was talking to a friend and she was telling me that she can't think of anything to put on her Christmas wishlist for their college barkada's exchange gift. I told her to just write down that she doesn't want anything anymore because she already got what she wants, her boyfriend. Hahaha. So, because of that, it got me thinking of what I want for Christmas this year. I don't usually make a Christmas wishlist, but I'll make one for this year. =)

  • Stone Heart, The Deep Blue Sea for Beginners and The Letters by Luanne Rice. Actually, I can easily find The Deep Blue Sea for Beginners in the bookstores here, but the last time I looked for it, it's still in hardbound therefore, it's expensive. Whereas the 2 other books are (I think) impossible to find since I can't find them in bookstores, even in Booksale. Just those 3 books and I will have all her novels na.
  • Telescope. Yes, it's been a long time dream for me to own one, so, can you give me one? =)
  • Car. I have no idea about car stuff but I want one so I can go to school without ranting that my sister or my mom's moving oh-so-slow, especially when I have a very early class. Also so that I won't have to worry about my white uniform turn black when it rains whenever I commute. And also, so I can go wherever I want to go.
  • More pets! It may be tiring to have lots of pets here at home, but they are fuuuun to watch and play with. We have dogs and a cat, and already had rabbits, hamsters, guinea pigs, turtles and fishes. We were supposed to have birds at one point but Dad changed his mind. Haha.
  • YOU. Need I say more? =)

Okay, back to reading!

Monday, December 06, 2010

Adrenaline Rush

I now know what it felt like when you're having an adrenaline rush. Just last night, around 11 in the evening, I was about to fall asleep when I heard wang-wangs on our street. Thinking it was just an ambulance, I decided not to look out the window anymore. But curiousity is somewhat killing me so I sat up and pushed the curtain to peek outside. I saw a fire truck rushing in our small street and a lot of people were scattered. I stared where the truck was going and saw smoke. And something orange-y light. I ignored it, trying to sleep again when it occurred to me that there's a fire somewhere near. That made me jump out of the bed and went to my parents' room and saw Mommy and my sisters looking out the window and there I saw big fire. I rushed to my grandmother's room and she too was gazing outside the window, kinda panicky because she thought that the house that's 2 houses away from us was the one on fire. I had to convince that it's not that house that's on fire. Haha. After that, I went up the roof top to have a better view but the house that my grandmother thought was burning was blocking the view so I just looked at the thick smoke and listen to the fire trucks' sirens from everywhere. At our estimation, the houses that were burning were about 15-20 houses or less away from us, about a minute or 2, or maybe less again, walking distance.

After an hour, the fire got smaller and my adrenaline rush vanished. I felt sleepy again and decided to go back to sleep. I asked my sister to just drag me out of my bed if anything bad happens. But about 30minutes since crawling into my bed, I heard noises again, so I looked out. The fire trucks are just backing out of our tiny street signaling that the fire is out, after 2 hours. That's around 1am already. I just watched the trucks leaving our street and I saw one fireman taking a picture of himself on top of the truck. Hahaha. That lasted for about 30minutes I think before I fell asleep again. And the next thing I know, it's 4am and I have to get up already. *sigh* No wonder I was so sleepy at school today.

I think those are firemen...

Christmas break's near! Prelim exams are next week already. But, hopefully, my last day in school before the break is on the 17th. I can somehow feel the Christmas breeze already, especially last night on the rooftop and this morning while unlocking the gate. If only there are no mosquitoes, maybe I'll carry a recliner up to the rooftop and stare at the stars and wish. =)

On the other thing that is wandering in my mind, it's been about a month or 2 since I have expressed my thought on why I can't write a poem about this feeling that I have. Actually, I'm still feeling it. And I still can't write about it. Until now. I have told a friend about this, and she told me that maybe if I write them down, something negative/unfavorable will happen. Like before. I kept writing when I'm inspired but in the end, I end up heart broken or stop liking the person. She also told me that maybe I don't want to jeopardize this one. And she's right, I don't want to. And, yes, I am in love. There. I said it. To whom, you guess. HAHAHA. =) But, I wish he feels the same way too...

Saturday, November 27, 2010


Dear Angkong,

Today is your first death anniversary. I'll always remember November 27, 2009. Mabilis ang mga pangyayari but I still remember them. Early that morning, before we left for our flight to Hong Kong, I went into your room and said goodbye to you and Ama. I even kidded that you wait for me when we return on the 29th. You both laughed at me pa and I know you waved at me pa. But a thought was bothering me the night before that pa, and I have told a friend about this thought that I had. Knowing that my imagination's running wild again, I forced myself to push that thought away as we boarded the plane. That night while we were sleeping, I kept hearing Dad’s phone receiving messages, but I didn’t mind it that much since hindi ko naman yun phone. Shortly after midnight, the hotel phone rang. Dad jumped from the bed to answer the phone. We don’t know who was on the other line, but we sensed something was wrong as Dad was answering in a panicky tone. When he put down the phone, he simply told us, “Patay na si Papa.” The sleepy me became wide awake and I suddenly remembered the thought that I had and I was silently cursing myself for having a wild imagination. I can remember na Dad can’t go back to sleep, and he decided to return to Manila the following day (28th) and nagpasya rin akong sumama to be with Ama. After we had the city tour, we asked the tour guide to drop us at the airport, while Mommy, Achi and Claire went to Disneyland. We were at the airport mga 3pm pa lang to ask if we can be chance passengers for the flight back to Manila. We had to endure the waiting in front of the check in counter just to know our fate kung makakabalik kami both ni Dad or only one can go back and the other (me!) take the train back to the hotel. By 8PM, lumapit sa amin yung attendant(?) and gave us our tickets! We arrived at NAIA-1 past midnight and Tita Plot fetched us from the airport and drove us to Heritage. I have conditioned myself to be strong and not to cry when I see your body. When we entered the room, my first thought was to turn around and walk back to the car and wait there, but I didn’t. Lumapit ako sa kabao mo and when I glanced at your face, I broke down. Hindi ko natupad yung promise ko sa sarili ko na hindi ako iiyak kapag nakita kita. Dad had to comfort me with the thought na you’re up there na and at least hindi ka na nahihirapan pa. It was hard and so sudden. We had to comfort each other for us to heal the loss we felt when you left.

Angkong, I’m sorry. I’m very, very, very sorry. Alam ko hindi ako naging super mabuting apo for you. Alam ko na dahil sa kababawan ko kaya hindi tayo nagpansinan for about 10 years kahit na andito lang tayo sa iisang bubong. It all started with my stupid lata of stickers. Kung hindi dahil sa latang yun, hindi tayo magkakaroon ng hidwaan. Biruin mo, all through out almost all of my elementary years, buong high school and college ko e hindi pala tayo nagpansinan? I’m so bad. Naaalala ko pa na nung nasa med school na ako, every after dismissal, pagkabalik ko sa dorm ko na kapitbahay lang ng school e tatawag ako agad sa bahay bago lumabas para bumili ng pagkain and ikaw madalas ang nakakasagot ng phone. Tinatanong mo lagi how my day went, kung kumain na ba ako then ipapasa mo ang phone kay Ama. And kapag umuuwi ako kapag Fridays e ikaw ang usual una kong makikita and mangangamusta kung nahirapan ba ako magcommute.

Alam ko nadisappoint ka rin when I stopped med. Alam ko lahat naman kayo nadisappoint eh. I did try my best naman to love med, pero hindi ko lang talaga siya naffeel at hindi rin ako magiging masaya in the long run. Nung nagkasakit si Ama, diba sabi ko sa iyo sa taas ka na matulog, ako na lang matutulog sa tabi ni Ama para in case kailangan i-BP or whatever, magagawa agad. Then one night bumaba ka, pagod yata ako kaya hindi ko naramdaman pero nagising ako, andun ka sa tabi ni Ama, nakadungaw tapos niloloko mo pa ako na hindi man lang ako nagising nung nagbukas ka ng pinto.

Aside kay Ama and minsan kay Claire, isa ka sa mga naging primary food taster ko sa mga pinagbbake at mga kung anu-anong niluluto ko, lalo na yung mga cookies. Tapos naaalala ko, madalas sinasabi mo kulang sa tamis kahit na minsan natatamisan na ako pati rin si Ama. Tapos kapag ulam naman, as long as hindi pork ang iluluto ko, kakain ka. Sayang, hindi mo na yata natikman yung blueberry cheesecake na ginawa ko, pati yung buko pandan. Pero, hayaan mo, ginawan kita ng gulaman with lychee kahapon para makuha mo siya ngayon para may food ka dyan. Matagal mo na rin siya hindi nakakain eh, diba. Hehehehe.

Namimiss ka na ni Ama. Namimiss ka na ni Dad kahit hindi niya sinasabi. Syempre, si A-ko miss ka na rin niya. Sila Kriz din, pati ako. Maraming times ka na bumisita kay Ama sa panaginip niya. PERO WAG MONG GAGAWIN ULIT YUNG GINAWA MO ONCE SA PANAGINIP NI AMA!!! HINDI AKO PAPAYAG!!! Just recently, bumisita ka rin sa panaginip ko, isang gabi lang siya pero in two different dreams. Why? Hindi mo naman ako kinausap, tumingin ka lang sa akin and nagsmile. Sinubukan kong tawagin ka kaya lang, walang boses na lumalabas sa bibig ko.

Sana andito ka pa. Sana naipagmaneho man lang kita kahit isang beses. Sana napatawad mo na si Dad sa naging alitan niyong dalawa. Sana nakikita mo si Genn ngayon kapag bumibisita siya dito, parang nakalunok lang ng melon. Sana mas naipagluto pa kita ng kung anu-anong mga pagkain. Sana nakikita mo how happy I am sa vetmed ngayon. Sana, napatawad mo na ako.

I love you, Angkong! Promise ko, aalagaan ko lagi si Ama.


Sunday, November 21, 2010

Nakipagwrestling ako sa aso.

I believe I have uttered that sentence quite a number of times last week. Why? Because I went to school on Wednesday with a lot of scratches on my left arm. You might ask what happened really happened. Well, truth be told, I was sratched by our dog, Cheese, who doesn't want to take a bath last Tuesday after having her nails and hair cut. She kept jumping out of the sink while I was rinsing her. Hence the scratches. I was just joking around whenever I tell my sisters and cousins that people might think I'm suicidal, especially the strangers I see when I commute. Oh, by the way, the dog's a Shih Tzu. Hehehehe.

This is my arm few days after being scratched by Cheese

It's been about 3 weeks already of the second semester aaaaaaand it's tiring. Very tiring. But fun as well! I think I enjoy going to school on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays (although I tend to get bored when Saturday arrives) and dread the rest of the week. Lots of readings to do, assignments to finish, stuff to memorize, and notebooks to write on. I've been away from my school stuff for about 24hours now. I need to get back on them after I blog.

Dad told me this morning, "Kailangan mo nang magdrive ulit." I know right!! It's been almost a year since I last sat behind the wheel. I want to drive again! I want to drive to school to avoid the hassle (well, I will face the traffic if I drive), and drive to wherever I wanna go-- visit my FEU-NRMF friends for one, and visit whoever.

Till then!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Think and blog

Funny how I miss going home late. Last night was the second time for this semester that I went home late, the first one was last Saturday. Good thing that Dad did not object when I told him yesterday morning that I'll be going home late, maybe because there are no classes for today (thank God!). So, for the 2 days that I went home late, I was at Trinoma with my friends. On Saturday, I was with my college/med friend, whom I just saw a week before classes started but there was a lot of stuff to share so we found that it is important for us to meet up, and we end up playing basketball, Time Crisis and Rambo at Timezone after having lunch and before buying important stuff we have on our respective lists. Mama, as I fondly call Mitch, and I met during my 1st year as a Biology student back in 2004 in our Zoology class after I got back from a week-long fever. We sat beside each other during the lecture and she was helping me understand the frog, which I missed on the lab class. And from then on, we became friends and eventually thesis partners on our very wonderful Babesia on horses.

On the other hand, I was with another med friend and her boyfriend (first time to see him) last night. Funny how Cheen and I got close, considering the history behind us. I actually did not expect us to be close after all the things that happened, but maybe there's a reason why we became close after about almost a year of just being civil to each other. But seeing her with her special someone makes me want to have one now. =| I admit, I miss the feeling of being in a relationship. Special guy for me, are you there? If you're the one that I want, speak up and show yourself to me now! Hehehe.

So now, I have a blogspot. Again. Maybe I'll make both blogspot and livejournal constantly updated. Or at least I should try to. I still am kinda regretting that I deleted my blogspot before. I can't remember the real reason why I deleted it. Because I don't update it anymore? Or because I got tired of fixing it? Or just because I don't want it anymore? I really don't know. But for now, I'm quite excited having blogspot again, hihi.

Just the other day, I finished a book called Something Blue by Emily Giffin. It's about a girl who cheated on her fiance by sleeping with another guy and got her pregnant. With her wedding cancelled, rift with her best friend and her own mother, and few weeks pregnant, she decided to move to London, stay at a childhood friend's place and start all over. There, she tried changing her old ways and try to become a new person as motherhood is fast approaching. When she had her checkup, the doctor suggested for an ultrasound even if she's positive she's having a girl. But, she's having a boy-- no, make that 2 boys! So, in the end, after giving birth, she had made up with her best friend and her mother, let go of her past grudges, fell in love with the childhood friend unexpectedly and eventually get married. No, I'm not advertising the book, unless you're into chic lit, you may read it! But, it got me thinking with babies. I have 2 elementary classmates who now have their kids. A college friend is now heavy with her own. A sister of a close friend recently gave birth to a baby girl. My cousin is 5months pregnant. I want to have my own kids too in time. I can't imagine myself though with a big tummy aside from my fats (lol). But I want to experience some fetus kicking inside me, or when time for an ultrasound, you can see the life form inside, all curved up, sucking it's little thumb. And when it's time to deliver the baby, I want to experience holding the little baby in my arms after his/her daddy cuts the umbilical cord and hearing his/her first sound. Yeah, I want to experience those. =)