Friday, March 30, 2012

Losing Friends

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster,

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three beloved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

-- Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) a disaster.

-One Art by Elizabeth Bishop

Have you ever come to a point in your life where a close friend of yours started drifting away from you and eventually it would seem like you don't know each other at all? Para bang wala kayong pinagsamahan.

I am the kind of person that does not consider a friend to be someone close to me, until he/she exceeded my expectations. And when I say close, I mean REALLY close. Like someone who would confide in me real personal stuff, and stuff like that. And when I gain close friends, I would really treasure them as they would take a major role in my life.

But when a close friend would say "friends forever", I sometimes wanted to doubt and ask, "Seryoso yan ha? Walang bawian yan kahit ano pa ang mangyari? Kahit after pa ng trials sa friendship natin e friends pa rin tayo tulad ngayon?" But sadly, that ain't the case.

Recently, 2 close friends of mine drifted away from me. One said we'll be friends forever yet this person just stopped talking to me, and the other one for some other petty reason. For the first friend, it's just weird that at one point we're constantly talking, and suddenly *poof*, I'm being ignored. It came to the point that I was really wondering if I should ask my friend already what's wrong. But I didn't; I don't know if it's the pride that hinders me or whatever else. Weeks, months passed by and still nothing from that person. So, if I like someone to share my frustrations or stories or whatever else with, I know I can't turn to this person anymore, no matter how much I want to. I wonder if that person still wants to talk to me like before.

As for my other friend, he "had to" drift away as his partner was getting jealous. So it's kinda like I was "accused" of "trying to steal the guy from her" or something like that. The girl is also my friend although I know the guy longer, and we talk in front of the girl naman but some physical gestures were misunderstood by her. At first I wanted to talk her out that there's nothing for her to be jealous of, walang malisya between me and the guy. But I thought that maybe she wouldn't want to hear any of it, so decided not to do it anymore. Hey, do I even look like a boyfriend snatcher?!?! Was I a threat to their relationship from the start? Do I even look like a threat?! So, yeah, we stopped talking after that, and I guess they're okay again in their relationship.

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